5 Keys to Networking Better (Without Feeling Salesy or Scattered)
Networking doesn’t have to feel random, awkward, or exhausting.
When you approach it with intention, clarity, and structure, it becomes strategic.
Here are five ways to network better whether you’re at a multi-day conference, a one-hour luncheon, or a one-on-one coffee.
1. Set Your Intention Before You Walk In
Before you give an event your energy, ask yourself:
What do I want to walk away with?
Am I looking for prospects?
Am I hoping to secure a speaking opportunity?
Do I want to expand my network?
Am I looking for a service provider?
Who do I hope to serve, encourage, or collaborate with?
Then get specific about the number of connections.
If there are 50 people in the room, maybe your goal is to meet seven new people.
If it’s a 10-person lunch, maybe you want one strong connection.
If it’s a conference with 500 attendees, maybe you want to walk away with 10–20 solid contacts.
When you don’t set an intention, you leave saying, “That was a waste of time.”
When you do, you can measure whether you succeeded, and it helps you move on from conversations when necessary because you know what you came to do.
2. Refine Your Elevator Pitch (And Turn the Volume Up or Down)
Use a simple framework to introduce yourself. Here's the one I use:
I help [who] do [what] so they can [result]. The best part is [byproduct].
For example:
“I help female entrepreneurs find focused work time so they can be present with their families. The best part is the conversations that happen when we co-work together.”
But here’s what matters.
You don’t deliver the same pitch the same way in every room.
You turn the volume up or down depending on the audience and your intention.
If I’m in a room full of female entrepreneurs, I might say:
“I help female entrepreneurs find focus in their work so they can scale their businesses with clarity.”
If I’m representing our coworking space, I may turn up the volume on boundaries and say:
“I help women create separation between work and home so they can be fully present in both.”
If I’m in a broader room, I might say:
“I help women shift the way they think about life and leadership.”
The core of who I am doesn’t change. The emphasis does.
You should have 3–4 variations you’re comfortable with and then adjust based on:
Who you’re talking to
Why you’re there
What you’re hoping to walk away with
That’s strategy.
3. Ask Better Questions (And Use Them as Conversation Starters)
I once heard a story about Dale Carnegie.
A young man approached him and asked him thoughtful questions. When the young man walked away, Carnegie reportedly turned to his wife and said, “That’s a sharp kid.”
His wife replied, “You don’t even know his name.”
All he had done was ask good questions.
Open-ended questions do two things:
They make the other person feel seen.
They give you real data.
Three questions I love:
What inspired you to start this work?
What’s been lighting you up lately?
What kind of support would make this season easier?
If you’re a service provider, that helps you qualify or disqualify the person you're talking to as a prospect.
If you’re a connector, it helps you serve.
And here’s the part people miss.
Those same questions become conversation starters. Instead of filling silence by asking about the weather, you can lead with:
“I listened to this podcast today that was so inspiring…" Or, “I just read a book that completely shifted my thinking…”
That’s a far more meaningful exchange than talking about the weather or your kids’ school programs.
Better questions create better conversations. And conversations lead to cash flow!
4. Get in the Reps In Front of Real People
If you have a big networking opportunity coming up, don’t wait until that high-stakes moment to test your pitch.
Get the reps in beforehand.
That means getting in front of as many people as you can, not just practicing in your car or in the mirror.
Say it at smaller meetups. Say it at coffee. Say it at low-pressure events.
The more you say it out loud to real humans, the more you:
Notice where it sounds clunky
Hear what questions people ask
Realize what feels authentic
Adjust what needs to be clearer
Especially if AI helped you draft it.
If it sounds robotic coming out of your mouth, it’s not ready.
Repetition builds comfort. Comfort builds confidence.
5. Follow Up With Intention
This is where professional equity compounds. Follow up within 5–7 business days.
That follow up might look like:
A thoughtful email
A handwritten note (my personal favorite)
An invitation to coffee
A direct ask for collaboration
Be specific.
“Hey, that pink jacket looked incredible on you. It really highlighted your cheeks, and I can’t stop thinking about how confident you looked.”
Or, “I loved the story you shared about naming your company after your kids. That was beautiful.”
Then make your ask: “I’d love to grab coffee next week.” “I’d love to explore a collaboration.” “I’d love to introduce you to someone.”
When you reference something specific, they know you remember them.
It’s not a blanket follow-up sent to 25 people. It’s intentional.
And intention is what turns networking into relationship-building.
